02/08/12

Miserable. I'm so unbearably miserable, and married to an asshole who could care less. Last night I sat upstairs bawling my eyes out for over an hour, hoping more than anything that this would be the time he'd come up, apologize and comfort me. In 4 years......this has never happened. When he makes me upset, he either sits downstairs emotionless on his computer, or watching TV, acting more like he's just relieved I left him alone. Blank. ignorance is bliss moron. You have no idea what you've done to me in 4 years. none. You never will. You will never have a clue just how mean you can be. I hope one day I upset you. I hope I make you HURT and CRY and question everything about yourself. I hope you know one day what it feels like to feel like you are being judged by me with everything you do. That you feel you've lost who you used to be because my way is always going to be better than yours.

Wise up jerk. Wise up before you lose me forever. Just because we are married doesn't mean I can't leave you for treating me like shit. Yes.....you can really be that bad. You accuse me day and night for your bad moods. You wonder why I have no self confidence? Yeah buddy - it's because of YOU!! Stop blaming me for your problems. Let me be happy. Put my happiness above all other things. I'm your wife now - it's about time you treated me like it!!

I've tried that 'reverse psychology' thing on you. I've tried to answer your questions with the sheer stupidity and sarcasm that you answer mine in. Never seems to go over well. But I could never treat you like you treat me. Never. I've been the receiver of all things mean from many people. I'll be damned if I spend the next 60 years of my life hearing it from you.

Treat me as a person.

Treat me as your wife.

Treat me with RESPECT.

LOVE ME.

ACCEPT ME.

your words and attitude hurt me more than you know.....and you care so little to even realize it.

wake up.