Thursday, September 3, 2015

The big day

Wow.....

If someone had told me a couple years ago that I would ever be married again, I'd have thought them crazy. I'd ruled it out. Nothing but a string of bad luck when it came to my previous choices in 'men'. (and I use that term VERY loosely) I was so content living alone with my dogs and was convinced that Happily Ever After was nothing more than a myth - a term best used for children's fairy tales.

Was I ever wrong....

In November it will be two years that Jamie and I have been together. On August 17th of this year, we took a leap of faith and got married eloped at Carmac Falls out in Smithville. It was a small wedding - VERY small. We aren't very 'showy' people, we are awkward individuals - not overly social, and very simple. We decided it much easier to do this without parents, friends, etc. but we had their blessing from the start. My sister was supposed to be the witness, but ended up in the hospital just two days before, so my cousin and her husband who just happened to be in town stepped up.

If it's good luck to have rain on your wedding day - I know we will have NO issues in our life together. It poured monsoon like rains the entire drive there. My nerves shot between the weather woes and my sister's health. Our original plan was to do the ceremony at the base of Carmac Falls - I even made sure our Pastor and photographers were physically able to handle the hike and had hiking boots. Mother Nature thought we should have the ceremony on the comfort of a covered deck nestled among the trees instead, which turned out to be quite ideal. The rain let up a short time later and our group braved the steep and muddy trail to the falls to do photos, which turned out to be absolutely perfect. The rains stopped completely and the overcast skies made the conditions even better once we got down there.

I say we had no family there......but we did - in spirit. Our photographer Amanda said 'this butterfly just keeps hanging around you in all your photos; did anyone close pass away recently?' I don't know about Jamie, but I got chills, as we told her about losing his Dad just a few months before. I promised him in his last days that I would take care of his son for the rest of our lives - he told me 'I know you will....' Who knew one monarch butterfly could have such an impact.

It was perfect - all of it. The rain didn't dampen our spirits, the photos were amazing, and I know neither of us could have wished for a better day.

We are two incredibly quiet and awkward people in a sea of chaos. When they say 'the right one comes along when you least expect it' it's not just a saying. I'm still amazed every single day that I found someone this wonderful - and a true testament that even those who have given up on finding love can find perfection, and can be one of very few people in this world that truly LIVE the life of Happily Ever After.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

The next chapter......

It's 11:45 on a Saturday night. My final evening on this couch, in this particular living room. While I'm happy to be moving on, there's so many great memories here that I will miss.

As I sit here looking at the blank walls and empty shelves, it reminds me of my first days here. While moving into an apartment might seem like a petty thing to reflect on, it stands for so much more. For me, it meant freedom. I remember nearly two years back how absolutely terrified I was when I committed to the idea of independence. Mustering up the courage to walk away from a verbally abusive marriage and start completely over, with very little to my name - I honestly didn't know if I would make it on my own. I kept worrying and wondering if this was the right choice.

My parents stayed here with me on the first night, as the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. New chapter - new plan.

So much has happened since then......leading up to the changes of now. As I go tomorrow to start the next phase of my life, it astounds me how things work out. I still cannot grasp how unbelievably lucky I am to have found someone so incredible - who I can say (for the first time ever) that I love with my whole heart, and without a single doubt in my mind. We don't control our fate - who we meet, and when. It's still so hard to believe that two months out of the hell I was living, I would meet the man I would spend the rest of my life with.

I can't even begin to think how things would be had I not pushed myself to find happiness in life. This little two bedroom apartment was my starting point. Where I learned again how to be 'me', without fear of judgement or criticism, and without even looking, managed to find someone so perfect for me, that it makes fairy tales seem credible.

So here's to the next chapter - one that I can say, without a doubt, will be the best one yet.......