There may be no truer saying. Even big changes don't seem so big unless you compare where you were to one year - or even one month ago.
This has been a year of changes for me. A constant reminder that what you think your plan in life may be, it can change at any given moment. You grow - you realize things - you figure out what is important.
In January I made a resolution to not make any resolutions. I was tired of failed goals, weight not lost, no real changes. So my only goal this year was to make this a year of 'me'. That was it. Just focus on me and what I wanted. Not what others wanted from me or expected from me. I was so tired of spending all my time trying to please others and getting nothing in return.
My first big change came in February when I called the photography company I wanted to work for to see if they were hiring. 8 months later it has now become my full time job - my sole source of income and I can now wake up each morning and actually go to work doing what I enjoy most. That alone I thought was going to be my biggest change of the year.
I had no idea there were more changes to come and I would learn that I had more courage and strength than I thought.
Without going into detail, I grew quite tired of my other situation, and knew I wasn't happy - nor had I been for quite some time. With the support and encouragement of a select few friends I found the strength to make my biggest change yet. Nearly two months later and 15 pounds less I do not regret my decision one bit. It has opened doors for a future I never knew existed. I've sacrificed a lot along the way, but can only chock it up as a lesson learned with open eyes to how distorted I thought 'normal' was.
I never thought I'd go down this path in life. Always said I never would but here I am, and I've learned just how amazing my friends and family really are. I know it will be a very long journey to heal from the damage done over the course of the past 5 years, but I know I'm already well on my way. I just have to keep reminding myself 'It's not your fault. You ARE enough. Whatever you do, you are doing it right. You are NOT worthless."
......in due time.
