09/08/11

less than 3 weeks until the wedding.

Am I happy and glowing? No.

Am I excited about what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life? No.

My family feels like it's falling apart. The vast majority of my co-workers are just illiterate drama queens, and my soon to be husband is the epitome of unsympathetic.

I cried myself to sleep last night. Right after a talk with him where I told him how upset I was about my family, and explained to him that he needs to stop doubting aspects of our relationship simply because my family is not exactly like his. He is, by far, the least understanding person I have ever met. No sympathy, and even less patience. Last night I pulled a 'him'. (and didn't realize it until after). I asked for my car keys so I could lock my car, and upon hearing him 'huff' because he didn't know where they were within the first .1 seconds, said 'don't worry, I'll get them', which was followed by my keys being thrown from the kitchen to the front door, where they hit the door. Really? How many times in the past have you asked me for something, and if you didn't hear my voice, or see me produce that item in .1 seconds, you proceed to say you will just get it? It's a weekly occurrence, and you denied tonight that it ever happens. Yet, I do it to you and you feel the need to throw my item across the house.

On the drive home last night I was on the phone with him - asked him why earlier that day he showed concern for why my family functions like it does, and once again asked 'are we going to have to support your parents and sister?'. We have beat this dead horse time and time again, and in a last ditch effort to convince him again that we won't be, he gets silent on the end of the phone. I ask if he's even still there, thinking my phone has dropped the call, and I hear 'yeah, just watching football.'. Nice. I will assume that means you heard me and you will never, ever bring this topic up again.

So don't sit there and tell me you aren't unsympathetic. Don't. You will show sympathy for a vast majority of the people you know, but when it comes you me, you expect me to be happy, cheery at all times, and when I'm not, you become the absolute last person I care to talk to. You show absolutely no compassion towards me. None. If I'm sick, sad, hurt, or depressed - you have shown that you will not be there to comfort me, tell me it will all be okay, or even just give me a hug. You will be there to get upset at me, because whatever the problem, it's just thrown off your day.

I'll keep this in mind the next time you are sick or have a bad day.

Happy f'n monday.