It was a daring change. One that made me question every single thought and aspect of my life. Once that house was empty of my belongings, and were into this refreshingly simple 2BR apartment, I knew immediately, and without doubt I'd made the right choice. One that so many others are terrified to make. I will tell you right now - if the thought is there, do it.
I cannot begin to express the joy and happiness that flooded my life once I left that toxic situation. I learned who my real friends were (and some that weren't). This included bidding farewell to my best friend of 11 years, but everything in life happens for a reason.
I have flourished. I had no idea life was this outstanding. I spent years in misery trying to impress a person of whom I'd never be worthy. Trying to keep up with the Jones' and not anger anyone, all while keeping up appearances to what I was supposed to be. In trying to conform to this persona, I lost 'me' along the way. Reading back into past blog entries I'm reminded that last year my only resolution was to do what makes me happy. When I set that goal I had absolutely no idea how BIG that would be. And how epic of changes were coming. Change in job, change in residence, change in status, and every other single aspect of my life. I went from a life of 'things' to a very simple environment, selling off 1/3 of everything I owned. Suddenly, it was so easy to let things go.
I'm proud to report that amidst all that chaos, I quickly found 'me' again. I became happy as could be doing very little, but spending time at work and at home with the dogs. If that weren't an amazing enough difference, things only got better. Now - I'm not usually cheesy and romantic by any means, but a couple months after my transition, I met by far, the most amazing and respectful man that has ever entered my life. I have never found another person that not only accepted me for just what I am, quirky habits and all.....but one that I am this compatible with. That was 7 months ago and I'm thankful every day that he's still in my life. I had no idea a happiness like this existed.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring - I don't think about it either. I take things one day at a time now and appreciate every enjoyable detail that I possibly can. And now I have someone to share that with. Life shouldn't ever just be a routine. Love who you are with. Love what you are, and most of all - love yourself.
