Everything changes......

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different."

There may be no truer saying. Even big changes don't seem so big unless you compare where you were to one year - or even one month ago.

This has been a year of changes for me. A constant reminder that what you think your plan in life may be, it can change at any given moment. You grow - you realize things - you figure out what is important.

In January I made a resolution to not make any resolutions. I was tired of failed goals, weight not lost, no real changes. So my only goal this year was to make this a year of 'me'. That was it. Just focus on me and what I wanted. Not what others wanted from me or expected from me. I was so tired of spending all my time trying to please others and getting nothing in return.

My first big change came in February when I called the photography company I wanted to work for to see if they were hiring. 8 months later it has now become my full time job - my sole source of income and I can now wake up each morning and actually go to work doing what I enjoy most. That alone I thought was going to be my biggest change of the year.

I had no idea there were more changes to come and I would learn that I had more courage and strength than I thought.

Without going into detail, I grew quite tired of my other situation, and knew I wasn't happy - nor had I been for quite some time. With the support and encouragement of a select few friends I found the strength to make my biggest change yet. Nearly two months later and 15 pounds less I do not regret my decision one bit. It has opened doors for a future I never knew existed. I've sacrificed a lot along the way, but can only chock it up as a lesson learned with open eyes to how distorted I thought 'normal' was.

I never thought I'd go down this path in life. Always said I never would but here I am, and I've learned just how amazing my friends and family really are. I know it will be a very long journey to heal from the damage done over the course of the past 5 years, but I know I'm already well on my way. I just have to keep reminding myself 'It's not your fault. You ARE enough. Whatever you do, you are doing it right. You are NOT worthless."

......in due time.