ah.....the first day of school.

Brings back memories.....

This is a rough blog for me to write. As you all send your kids off for the first day of school - with their new clothes, backpacks, and lunchboxes - remember to keep communications open with them.

I never told my parents what I went through when I was in public school - so they had no idea.

I was never the popular kid. I had glasses, a gap in my teeth, wore the clothes that I liked, and didn't watch MTV. I was...what you would call, a geek. A nerd. A dork or a dweeb. I was a loner.

I didn't have friends. No one would let me sit with them at lunch, and as a result I sat in quiet to eat every single day. If I dared to approach the 'popular' table, I was told there was no room and I should go away. So I did.

I was shoved in the hallways, my books scattered across the floor. I never said a word. Just sitting at my desk keeping to myself doing my work, kids would walk by and just pull my ponytail holder out of my hair. I didn't do a thing.

I tried to be friendly. Despite all the 'hints' that they wanted nothing at all to do with me, and apparently were just embarrassed being in the same building as me, I kept trying. One day I walked towards a group of them all during an indoor recess. No sooner did they all see me then I was told 'you can't be here. this is only for cool people.' They all laughed, and I just walked away. To sit alone at my desk and count the minutes until recess was over.

Kids are cruel. I had bugs put in my pencil box, I was pushed, mocked, spat on.....and why? Because I didn't conform with all of them. I was just 'me'.

I used up every excuse in the book (and made up a few along the way) to get myself sent home from school sick. Some days I really was. With ulcers in my stomach from nerves of having to back for another day.

When my mom asked me if I wanted to be home schooled, I was ecstatic. That was it. This was what I had only daydreamed about. Some say I missed out on a lot, and maybe I did. But I don't regret the path I took one bit. I was no longer the nerdy loner. I started skating and spent endless hours each week there practicing for competitions. I had friends. I'd shed the glasses, and the 'nerd' persona. It's amazing what a person can do with just a change of atmosphere.

So parents.....please, please pay attention to every detail of your child's life. Don't let them get bullied. Whether or not they are, teach them what to look for, how to stand up for themselves, and fight back. I wish I had.

Instead I let them walk all over me, talk down to me, and let me feel that I was worthless. The irony of it is, I'm friends with most of you now on Facebook.