Speak up!

....and so I am. Well - more so than before anyway. I'm getting close to that breaking point. Where I'm not afraid of the 'big bad boss', and don't mind telling her when she's being unfair to me. I came in this morning and checked my work emails just to find this one 'You are not closing that. Sorry, my assistant does not always read the contract as she should. sorry :) I will tell her to send it to the other closing company.'

You can't be serious. I had no idea what this was for - as I didn't send ANY of the info on that closing to the person she was emailing. Turns out the warranty site I order from has them set as a default, and it automatically faxes them. Every single day she speaks to her clients and vendors and makes me sound like nothing more than an incompetent moron. I sit idly by and do my work and listen to her on the phone talking about me, and what I didn't do, or I didn't send out - when in fact, it's 90% of the time, something she hasn't done yet. I'm nothing more than a grossly underpaid punching bag, and I've had enough.

....and on to cheery things. Like, a tanking stock market, or an absolute disaster of an oil spill that no one can seem to figure out how to contain.

Maybe some days we just need a little bit more encouragement than normal. That little extra push, and someone there at the end of the day to tell you that tomorrow is a new, brighter day with endless possibilities. Those few words can really change your day.

3 day workweek

I love weekends where you feel like you actually lived them to the fullest. Lots of housework done - inside and out, preparing for the party and overnight company we'll have next weekend. Saturday we had lunch at the Cool Springs Brewery (Great Pizza, and they brew some pretty good beers) and in the evening we celebrated our Anniversary by going to dinner at Mauricio's in Cookeville. That place was just awesome. Anyone who loves Italian Food needs to stop by this place for lunch or dinner one day. It's well worth the drive out there. I ordered the Lobster Ravioli and it was to die for. Plenty of meat in the pasta, and a rich lemon and butter cream sauce. Rob got the Veal Picatta, which I don't eat veal, but just had to try it, and was glad I did (this in no way is my approval of the treatment of animals, as I still disapprove of the methods and am not a veal eater). Although full from dinner, we cannot turn down a tasty sounding dessert. It was worth the calories. I got a Chocolate Almond Cheesecake, and Rob got a Chocolate Truffle Cake. I highly suggest either of these should you find yourself there for dinner one night.

We spend yesterday at the pool for the opening weekend. The place was packed and the neighbors were out in droves to work on a tan and to mingle. I still managed to get a nice lobster color to me after only two hours and 4 layers of sunblock. Oh, the joys of being fair skinned. Good news is that by the time we head to Florida, it'll be the perfect tan.

I'm thankful this is a short workweek for me as well. Only 3 days of putting up with this chaos I sometimes refer to as a job before heading to Atlanta to spend my birthday with my family and friends.

Happy Anniversary

I don't blog on weekends, so I'm a day ahead. This Saturday will be 2 years since Rob and I first met. We first starting talking a couple years before in a thread on the Corvette Forum about Match.com - we chatted almost daily on instant messenger for over a year - he even tried to get me to meet up with him a couple of times. Suggesting meeting up halfway in Chattanooga for lunch one day - or up at the Jack Daniels Distillery, and I either couldn't afford it, or had something else going on.

In Early May we finally exchanged phone numbers, and he called me right away. We talked for hours. We were both planning on going to the Corvette Cruise-in in just a couple weeks, and agreed we'd finally meet then. Those weeks crept by, and we talked every day until then. When I finally got to the museum, I texted him, and he was already back at the hotel with everyone else on the forum - I'd just missed him. I had uncontrollable butterflies in my stomach. I finally made it over to the Hampton Inn (THE place for Cruise In action)....and there he was. I still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

.....I moved to Tennessee that August.

We've had our ups and downs, just as everyone does. I'm proud to say that I still feel for him the way I felt when I saw him for the first time. I feel lucky we met there, where everyone had a camera, and we have photos of us from the first day we met. Although not the 'cutest' pics, since after all - it was just a big party full of Corvette Enthusiasts!

and here is our ever so romantic first pic together..




...and the following weekend when I drove up to Nashville for our first real 'date'.



Both of our vettes at the local Cruise Night:



We've had so many great times together, and I really feel blessed to have him in my life. Those of you who have known me for a while, know what I've been through in the past. I didn't think I'd find happiness like this, and some days I still think I don't deserve it.

Rob - I love you. Thanks for being so great......you and your crazy afro wig, peep loving, bacon addicted self.

What I am not.....

It's Thursday. In less than one week I'll be in Atlanta, and in just 11 short days we will be on our way to Sunny, Warm, Everyday is 80*, Florida. I don't remember the last time I looked forward to a vacation this much. to say it is well deserved is an understatement. I've never been paid so little to work so hard in my entire life.

Before I could finish my cereal this morning, my boss called. Looking for flyers for a listing. I did those flyers 2 days ago, and gave them to her. She's misplaced them. Because she is unable to remember where she put them, that must mean I have not done them. I heard about this as soon as I set foot outside the car this morning too. 'oh, no - don't print new ones, you'll waste ink' which was followed by my thought 'then you shouldn't have lost them you crazy bag!'

My morning consists of being told to do things I've complete a week ago, and being an answering service to her kids whenever they call the house and want someone's phone number. I should start charging a '411 fee'. $1.50 for each time they call, and I have to drop what I'm doing to assist them' Need Directions? Get a GPS - DON'T CALL ME.

And now for a bit of humor in the day. Have you ever heard of the website 'Awkward Family Photos'? Rob got me hooked on this site last year, and since then it has blossomed into a hideous internet sensation. So much so, that it's being published into a book now. According to MSNBC "The L.A.-based screenwriters have turned AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com into one of the biggest sensations on the Internet, with some 15 million people a month visiting the site to ogle families posing at their embarrassing best. And now their book “Awkward Family Photos” will debut at No. 3 on the New York Times best-seller list."









For the full site go to

Don't get near me - I bite.

Ever have those days where you are just irritated. Nothing particular will set it off - it's just an aura about you. I'm having one of those days. Just a lack of patience for things I'm already irritated with. People on the road who wait til the last second to get in that backed up turn lane (and those who let them in), or a loud boss who preaches the Bible to you about seeing your own faults, while being immune to their own. Practice what you preach woman.

All that aside, it's a delightful morning out. Yesterday's weather was a bit on the chilly side for mid may - cloudy, dreary, and only 65*. I hear my boss on the phone with her daughter who apparently went to the zoo yesterday with her kids 'oh, it was so cold. I hope you wore your heavy coat, it was freezing out!' really? I can only laugh. It's the best way to get through life's frustrations sometimes. I know I rant about my boss all the time, but in all honesty - it's amusing. Rob finds humor in some of the stories I tell him about my day - anger in others.

My Grandfather gets released from the hospital today as well. We are all relieved, and I know he is eager to get back home. He was in surgery yesterday to stop the bleeding from his main surgery - one week ago now.

I also realized on my drive to work today that mine and Rob's 2 year anniversary is in 3 days. A full photo montage will follow, no doubt. It's what I do best. I wish I could get paid for being crafty - I would die a happy woman!

Also, I don't know about some of you all - but I'm a huge fan of PostSecret. I've been looking at this site religiously, every Sunday morning for the past 6 years. Here's a card for the day to inspire you.

BBQ Tuesday

There will be alot of these until all the meat we brought home from BBQ fest is gone. I won't want to look at another rib or brisket for months.

My drive home last night was an interesting one. A terrifying one actually. I know my defrosters in my car don't work - but I usually just crack the window and let the air keep the fog down. This concept doesn't work quite as well when you are in the middle of a monsoon. I took off my overshirt and started using it to clear the windshield. Only then did I realize my shirt had traces of lotion on it from my pleasantly sunburned back. So now it's smeary and foggy. Perfect. So I roll the windows down more. I get onto the interstate already struggling to see, and when I was 3 lanes in and going 40mph my wipers quit working. oh FML this was not good. I rolled both windows down all the way hung my head out the window to see traffic, kept as calm as I could, and did my best to get off the highway without hitting anything. Have you ever tried this. It's not easy. I almost took out an S-10 blazer before making it to the shoulder. I looked down to realize how badly I was shaking and then I just started bawling. I was soaked. There were puddles of water all inside my car, and I just sat there on the side of the road in the pouring rain, praying that no one hit me....I couldn't see a thing.



When I eventually got home, I poured a tall glass of very well deserved wine.

My Grandfather is still doing well. He's currently at St. Joseph's Hospital in Atlanta, and will be seeing his doctor today. From what I hear the bleeding still has not stopped. I wish I knew more of what was going on so I can worry less. All I can do is put my faith in the Lord and pray that he heals him quickly.

My boss has also been particular pleasant with me today. She let me know that in June I'll be getting another raise and that I'll start getting incentives for each closing I assist her in. Finally.....more of a goal to work towards other than 'just don't get yelled at today'. I can use that minimal raise to buy that new car I'll be getting now that mine has pushed me over the top.

Fast Paced Mondays

I love them.

We got back from Memphis last night, and it was good to be home. BBQ fest wore us both out and for days this scent of smoked meat will linger. I managed to get through the entire weekend event without a sunburn, but on Sunday when we were there to tear down the tents and pack up the food, I got an insta-burn. In one hour I got cherry red. Seriously? I laid out for hours so far this springtime and barely got any color. And my skin waits until the day I'm wearing a tank top to finally catch on to this tanning concept. I've got this weekend left to get rid of the horrid tan lines before our trip to Florida. 12 days and counting until we are out by the pool without a care in the world! Saw a neat thing for us to try while on the beach as well. Anyone tried YOLO boaring? Basically a big surfboard that you paddle while standing up. Our resort offers it, so I think we'll give it a shot!



Anyway, While Rob was gone all last week spending time with his parents, I got creative. Knowing that the bedding we had bought in January would sit around until next January, I took matters into my own hands. A couple weeks back he picked a paint color he liked, and that's as far as we got. As soon as I got back from leaving him in Memphis Sunday night of that week, I headed up to Lowe's and got what I needed to tackle the bedroom walls. In two days I'd knocked it out. Needless to say, he was quite surprised.

before:


after:



I enjoy a good project.

Actually looking forward to a monday

This past week has been exhausting. For once I cannot wait to start another week in hopes that it's somewhat calmer than the last.

Memphis in May BBQ Fest is over. The Team placed:

11th place in t-shirt
36th place in ribs
24th place in Peoples Choice
87th place in wings
34th place in Anything But - Beef
40th place in Anything But - Poultry

Granted I was only there for the last 2 days of it, but even that was enough to wear me out. I don't know how these guys can find the energy, the motivation, or even the interest to be out there every day, all day for the entire week. I don't want another ounce of BBQ pork for at least a month.

Maybe More.






....and I'm pretty sure I gained back that 3.5 lbs that I worked so hard to lose last week. 2 Weeks until Florida - I can lose it again.

Also - an update on my Grandad. He went in for surgery to remove a possibly cancerous tumor on his bladder this past Thursday, and apparently was having some complications from the surgery. They weren't watching his blood sugar levels close enough, and as a result, his glucose level went far above 500.....causing him to be having spasms. He also is still bleeding and has already received 2 units of blood with a transfusion. He's still at the hospital and we are praying that the bleeding stops.

A pic of him and my Grandmother from my sister's wedding in September '08.

oh what a trip......

So I made it to Memphis. We won't say how long it took me.

I had the GPS and was supposed to pick up Rob downtown. Simple enough, right?

I also hate being directionally challenged. Because of this little fact, I ended up in Arkansas. I already knew it would happen due to my unbroken track record of getting lost in various cities at night and ending up in a rough part of town. Like last night when I asked Rob if I would get shot, and he casually told me 'no, you are in the city'. I wasn't quite in the city. I was in that part of the city where all the cars were on dubs and every liquor store had sketchy lighting and bars on the windows, and every store I passed just happened to be a liquor store with the usual suspects loitering out front. Thankfully I was out of that area somewhat quickly, and looked at the GPS to see the road I was on wasn't the one I was supposed to be on, but trusty Jill, showed me on a different road which zig zagged across the one I was on. (say what??)

So I ended up in Arkansas. Did a quick loop around at the first exit behind a tour bus that was doing the same thing I was. I believed in this tour bus driver when we went to get back onto the interstate to head back into the state I was supposed to be in, when he took another wrong turn. I look at my GPS 'East on ROAD' - wth....road? What, it has no name? Yeah - wrong way again, and with tour bus behind me, we finally got on the interstate with no signs leading up to it.

I finally found Rob wandering the streets of memphis with thousands of other people who had just gotten through with BBQ fest. I can only laugh at myself each time this happens, because I know what a disaster I am. Finding humor in my faults is the only way I can cope with my faults!

So it's a humid and overcast Friday morning and this afternoon we'll be heading back downtown for more BBQ and chaos. Pics to follow.

And on that note - Chinese Proverb quotes:

" Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Wow has it been a crazy week! With the house to myself it seemed I would never run out of things on my 'to-do' list. Mostly it was cleaning. LOTS of cleaning. Not sure when I turned into a clean freak - my mother will remember quite well when I was a teen that I was a total slob. You'd have to shuffle your feet just to clear a path to my bed from the door. Now I go crazy if there's a dish on the counter that does not belong.

I spend my evening last night getting donations ready for the TN Flood Victim's 'FREE' garage sale being put on by Friendship Community Church this Saturday. I felt almost worthless that I had not volunteered my time to this disaster yet. I even took the time to register on the Hands On Nashville site, but just don't have the time. So anyway - I opted to go to my 10'x10' storage unit last night that has been crammed with the contents of my old house for the past (nearly) 2 years now. Almost my entire life - crammed in beat up boxes sitting in a non-climate controlled aluminum 'hut' just off the main road. I told myself I wanted to get rid of at least 2 boxes. I knew I could dig out that many clothes at least.

I got rid of 10.

Nearly 1/4 of the contents in boxes in there are now OUT!! Clothes, sleeping bags, bedding sets, and even a few of my 1/18 scale car models that I just will never use again. I was up til nearly 1am washing and folding load after load of bedding and clothing. But I feel so much better now. Knowing that my things are going directly back into my community to those who need them. I took out a few boxes of kitchen goods too that I'm hoping can go to David and Deanne who lost everything when their home flooded. So tonight after work I'm dropping them off at a neighbor's house who is helping to put together this giant 'free' sale.

Work this week has gotten better. Thank goodness. A repeat of Monday and I'd have been out that door.

Today my Grandad goes in for surgery as well. He went in at 11am EST to get the tumor on his bladder removed. We are praying so much that the surgery goes well, and that this tumor is non-cancerous. He will already have to go in for treatment for the Prostate Cancer, and I just keep hoping that's the only one he has to deal with.

Tony (Zippy) had his heart surgery on Tuesday of this week, and I emailed his wife and have not heard back to see if it went well. I'm praying that it did.

And finally.....leaving in 3.5 hours to begin my weekend. Told my boss I wouldn't be in to work tomorrow and after work today I'm packing up the car and the pups and heading back our to Memphis for the BBQ Fest. Rob has been out there since last Saturday and I almost miss him. ;)

Overall today has been a good day. My boss has been out all day volunteering and is on her way back so I hope that the 2nd part of my day doesn't ruin the good I've already had. The pups were behaving this morning, my weight is down this week (3.5 lbs - woohoo!) and even still after I stopped at Krispy Kreme for the S'mores doughnut I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. To make things even better, I helped a guy on my vette forum who was looking for a lift kit for his truck, and directed him to my sister who sells them for her husband's (Jeremy) company. Guy gets a good deal on a lift kit, sister makes some money, and the guy just happens to review gadgets for Apple, and will be sending me an iPod for helping him out! I'm overjoyed since mine was stolen last December when the POS theives got my car at the ice rink.....at 10am.....in broad daylight. (and got away with it those a-holes)

anyway....just glad I'm having a good day and have so much to be thankful for!

Monday Monday.....no good to me

Saturday morning we packed up the car and headed to Memphis to spend Mother's Day weekend with Rob's family. We headed out to a fantastic lunch of 'Po Boys at the Bayou Bar and Grill and then off to the Memphis Zoo we went. With zoom lens and camera in hand I was good to go.

I can't even remember the last time I went to a Zoo. I was at Busch Gardens about 7 years ago or so, but that's more a theme park with animals than a zoo. Either way, it was great to have his whole family out there. I honestly could not ask for a better (second) family in my life. Later on when I get home I'll have to post some pics. I think they turned out pretty well.

Church on Mother's Day was wonderful. A powerful lesson in the difficulties in life. So appropriate for many of the obstacles in my life right now. While I'm happy and blessed for so many things, I'm not exactly content with my work situation. I get frustrated by how little I make, and how I am treated by my boss. I love what I do, but I get very depressed and angry when I'm constantly belittled and yelled at - many times for things that were either not my fault, or unavoidable.

This morning for instance, my boss was irate because a copy of a contract had not been sent out to a person I've never heard of, and that she never told me about. I mean......irate. Yelling at me to the point I was about to just walk right out that door and not come back. I told her to stop yelling at me, and her husband actually came in here and told her to stop screaming at me. Then she proceeds to tell me that if she paid me what the other assistants at the company got paid, she'd have let me go already, but because I make less she can somehow justify yelling at me and putting up with the apparent poor performance I give.

I don't put up with that crap. Period.

I went from being an Assistant Project Manager where I was in control of so much, to a very low paying job where I get chewed out if I wear heels on days she wants me to haul 50# boxes for her. Not my idea of the ideal career. Not even close.

Either way - I'm still blessed to have a job I enjoy when so many cannot find a job.

So anyway - it's a dreary monday and it's entirely too cold for the second week in may. 20 days until we leave for Florida......

Finally made it to Friday

It's been such a trying week, and I thought the work week would never come to a close. My boss and her husband are out of town for the weekend, leaving yesterday - which gives me the highly desired quiet work time I needed. I get so much more done when no one is here and I can actually concentrate.

On top of this flood disaster we have both had some rough news this week. On Wednesday we got word that Rob's mother has cancer on her kidney. The good news of that is, that they caught it early on. In early June she'll go in for surgery and they expect a full recovery. Then yesterday mom calls to tell me that my Grandad (her father) was just diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and in a week they will have the results back on whether or not he also has bladder cancer. Unreal. Just one thing after the other.

We leave tomorrow morning to head to Memphis to spend the weekend and Mother's Day with his family. We'll also be enjoying a trip to the Memphis Zoo, which was apparently her best memory of a past mother's day - so getting the whole group together for this one will be quite memorable.

It's just a lot to take in. Flood and friends who are struggling from it, now having to worry more about Rob's mom and my Grandfather. I just pray that both can be cured of the cancer and return to normal healthy lives.

Back in the saddle....

Ok....I gave up on this blogging thing years ago. I had 4 other weblogs and I used them back in the day as an outlet for the miserable life I had some years back.

I'm happy to report, this will not be a bit like that. As most all of you know I have a happy life with a wonderful man in TN now. I've gotten past most of the insecurities that developed from years of being controlled.

Eventually I will get over the resentment and anger towards that situation, and I will post 2 years worth of a mentally and physically abusive relationship on here for all to read. Yes, it's lengthy, and to this day - no one has read it.

Anyway - This has been an interesting week for us. Last weekend we had a record breaking 20" of rainfall at our home in middle TN. I've never seen anything like it. Small, shallow creeks became raging rivers 40' wide in just moments. It's an overpowering feeling when you are humbled by mother nature. Historic landmarks in downtown Nashville, and people's homes were destroyed in a matter of hours, and no one saw it coming. Most people didn't live in a flood plain, so they had no insurance. I cannot imagine not having my home to go back to - all of my belongings and family photos.....gone.



There was no looting. We barely made national news for days. But in the hours following this disaster - over 7,000 Nashville residents signed up on the Hands on Nashville Website to volunteer. This week Rob and I will be heading out towards a hard hit area to help some friends as they were some of the not so fortunate, and their home was badly flooded.

If you want to help out, feel free to purchase a shirt from this site. 100% of the profits will go back into the community for flood victims.

http://nashvilleflood.myshopify.com/

you can get this really swell shirt (and a few other designs) for only $20.